At last, Mona has found herself a man... Love is in the air, firstly our Dan now Mona. Hes Moses and Mabels grandson, hes on a working holiday from Burnley. I can see the family resemblence, lovely smiles...

Mona is smitten, Renee is too, (I think its his tongue that got her excited.. ) Ive told Renee to stay away, Mona is very inexperienced with men, and I dont want her to have another bad experience. Her last boyfriend was zoo keeper who looked after the llamas, he tried to make her pay for the llama wool in ways you couldnt imagine! Needless to say, after my advice, he spent a long time in hospital and she had to buy another pair of size 16 knitting needles.

His name is Arthur, known to his close friends as "Popeye" Im not sure why but maybe he eats a lot of spinach, or perhaps he was a sailor. I can never quite these nicknames things myself, Renee is known as the town bike, (she doesnt even wheels or a handlebars!) Marylin is named "Bus-stop-bostick" by the locals. And my lovely William is known as "Bull-dog-Bill" , Flo says it has something to do with his bottom teeth, but I took him to the dentist when he was 9 so I dont believe her.

Well, anyway, back to Mona, shes cooking tea for Arthur shes made a big effort, been to Spar by herself and everything! Im keeping him entertained in the parlour, (the smell of boiled lentils and tinned sardines are wafting through) Arthur wants to play a game, he says its called "shag a granny before teas ready". Im not sure how to play that one so I suggest scrabble, or snap. Hes a bit strange, keeps trying to lick my feet, Im not taking my woolly tights and slippers off for anyone! Its September for goodness sake, and my calour gas heater is empty.

Mona comes into the parlour with a feast like I couldnt imagine in my wildest dreams.. she has bought real butter and everything! Lovely on a slice of Warburtons Toastie loaf, still in the pack to keep it fresh. Shes gone one step further.. (she must have been watching Anthea Turner) the sardines are out of the tin and in a glass bowl! (well plastic, but pretty anyway)

Im going to bed, Ill take my QC with me, I dont want to get in the way of young love...(and I still have about 5 mins left in my battries)... dont want them them to corrode!