Well the dreaded telegram arrived... my lovely son Bo, hes on death row in the USA .. I dont think I can open the damn thing, Ive been expecting this... (need sherry first)...

Half a bottle of QC later... I knew it... Im devastated... its a bill for a bloody electric chair... The little tw*t has blown the damn thing! It not the first time, he only needed to crawl past a wireless to put it out of tune.

Maybe it was something to do with the fact he loved to chew cables and put his tongue in wall sockets as a baby.

The drs think he did it for attention, but I know better, he just had fun, his little eyes would light up everytime he bit them! (maybe that would explain his hair, its been like that since he was 10 months old.)

Well hes being flown back to the UK, courtesy of George Bush, it seems hes deemed as a threat to national security.

Im not sure how Im going to pay the US government $750,000 for a new chair, maybe Ill have to cut back on the sherry and bingo for a while..

Cant wait to see my baby again though...