Well thats enough about my family for now, Ill try to keep you all updated with their shenanagins.
Im going to bingo with Flo tonight, so if I start now I might be able to make myself as glamourous as her before 7 o' clock. I might ask Scarlet to give me a makeover. If only I could find my damn teeth, its not gonna be easy to munch pork scratchings like this, and they do the proper ones at Mecca,not those synthetic ones, but proper good chewy pigs skin ones, take bloody ages to soften by sucking. Maybe i can soak em in my sweet sherry for an hour or so, that may help, a sort of marinade.
Hope I win tonight, last week I won a purple teddy bear and a box of manx kippers, brought every damn cat from down our street howling at me door they did!
Right, I best go and soak my feet in a bucket to soften my corns, Ill have to use the bread knife to slice them off, my razor blade is blunt.
More later, Ill let you know how we get on, I just hope Rene doesnt turn up drunk again, she nearly got us all barred last week. Shouted out rude comments about the bingo callers balls all night she did. Then when she got on stage, she showed us up by doing her party trick with her extra width blue bingo pen, she has no shame! (You can find her photo on my previous posts) mutton dressed as an old chop she is, but shes still my bestest friend so please dont tell her I said that.