Well I think that party went pretty well! There was only a few arrests and hospital admissions , and it wasnt their fault, they were victims of circumstance., we didnt know next doors roof was only made of corrugated cardboard... it doesnt hold up too well under the strain of the Okey-Cokey. And we werent directly responsible for the phone booth falling into Spar window, we just tripped up larking about! The hole came in handy for more booze and nuts though, now that was purely coincidental I can assure you. I dropped off some more Bostik for our Marylin on the way too, dunno what she does with it all, she must be making collages or something, but she was very agitated and shakey when I got there, she must have been keen to finish her project.

The rooms not too bad, cant wake Dan though, but he looks comfy so Ill leave him be to sleep a bit (I think he overdosed on Tizer, I warned him too many "e numbers" werent good for him, but he wouldnt listen, just carried on ripping the wallpaper off the walls, stuffing cheesy wotsits up his nostrils and dipping his dangly bits in peoples sherry.

Bo seemed to enjoy it, Im glad the police made us we keep his hand cuffs on though, the smell of women was too much for him after being in prison for so long, could have been trouble! A few pickled silverskin onions arranged in a circle around him put him off the scent,and he soon settled.

Renee loved the attention she got off Mr Newt, he couldnt take his eyes off her! Hes a very clever chap, hes asked her to pose for some photos for him, apparently he has his own website, "scareyoldbitches.com" or something, shes very excited about it! Shes learning how to write so she can sign autographs, and she is going to the travel agents to see how much it costs to fly to Hollywood. Ive told her to use National Express, its much cheaper. She really has no idea about these things, silly old cow.

I found Mr Turkey sleeping in a compost sack in next doors potting shed, Im not sure how he got there but looked happy enough. The place stunk of methylated spirits, they probably use it on their tomatoes or something.

Mona and Flo are coming to help me clear up soon, Im not really in the mood, I feel sick and have a headache, maybe the beetroot was off, it must have been cos we are feeling the same this morning.

Id best make a pot of tea and fry some kippers, Ill need my strength to get the rest of the guests out of the cells, those coppers take some beating when you get to my age! Think Ill just take Bo with me, Im sure he can "persuade" them with less effort than me.