Well after the upset and insult of this morning, Renee and I have decided to throw a party to welcome Bo home, thatll cheer us all up, (and give the neighbours something to complain about)

We have phoned the local police station to warn them to get some extra staff on duty tonight, and to make sure the cells are empty. See...I told we had manners in this family!

Me and Renne have been to Asda to get in some supplies, some call it shopping, but we prefer "super-market-swipe" much more apt.

We work well together, she causes a distraction and I fill my tartan wheelie shopping bag. Today she decided to do her "Ive fallen head first into a freezer" routine, (works everytime) but as we needed more grub for the party she "forgot" to put her bloomers on, we thought this would give me more time to swipe!

Well there was quite a commotion, her head rammed down into boxes of frozen brains faggots, proper jammed she was.. the young stacking the battered cod took one look at Renees arse and dropped out cold onto the floor! She still has that effect on men!

I made the most of the fracas, and filled my bag with sherry, dairylea dunkers, cashew nuts, crab sticks, paper doilies, chocolate sprinkles, tinned fruit salad, kipper flavoured pringles, a box of multi-coloured drawing pins.... (well they were just there) and a bottle of tizer for our Dan.

I managed to get out of the shop just as the ambulance arrived, Renee joined me in the car park as the fish stacker was being carted away, itll take some mopping up that blood!

We got the bus home, Renee always pays, she doesnt want anyone to know shes a pensioner, but I dont think the driver believed her when she asked for a childs fare.. she got it anyway as usual, maybe he felt a little intimidated by her.

Right, lets get this party going!