Well we are just back from the cells, all party goers are in one piece, well nearly) we just have a problem... we seem to have an extra one. Renee thinks hes John Major, but I told her hes dead, he slept with Edwina Currie and nobody can survive that..

I think its Ronnie Corbett, so shes very excited, and has started slapping him round the face and asking to tell her a joke.

There was no response for a few hours, we dialled 999, at first the operator shouted " NOOOO WE ARENT COMING THERE AGAIN!" when I explained we had a celebrity in trouble, they sent someone round.

Oh deary me, it turned out that there had been a mix up at the police station, they had made us take a body from the morgue.....very funny Mr Plod! Renee says shes going to wait for the ads to come on in the middle of "Trisha" and get a number to sue the buggers.