Well, the funeral was over, none of us can remember much about it, so it must have gone well.

We decided to celebrate Heathcliffes death with a well deserved holiday. I booked us all in at Pontins. It was a late deal and out of season so very cheap. The brochure looked nice,and the man on the phone told me we all fit in lovely. There was 17 of us going, so we would all have these rooms with some privacy.

Even Marylin was coming with us, (it took us ages to pack her cardboard box into the suitcase) but at least we saved £7.75 for her weekends board at Pontins.

We tried to book a big taxi to take us from Southport to Ainsdale, but no-one would take us. The train was out of the question, our faces are posted up like "Carlos the Jackal", we cant even get to Birkdale without face of arrest.

Mr Turkey came up trumps... he used his position at the radio station to appeal for a bus to take us to our destination... (we had to steal some wheelchairs and various other medical equipment to make it look authentic) but hey who cares?? It worked!

We are on our way!... Im so excited, I hope I can control myself, these tennas aint what they used to be...